Dog Parenting Gifts

I assume obedience class was a washout then.

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

"Fish needs a bigger bowl."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

'I'd say he's 10 percent 'pet' and 90 percent 'Lord and Master of All He Surveys'.'

"Why do they do that?"

"He was overly socialized as a puppy."

"No no, I said sit!!"

"I figure if I was still employed, I wouldn’t get to spend all this time with you!"

'It's a deal, lets sniff bottoms!'

"My emotional support dog ate my comfort food."

'When he's happy he can cool the entire downstairs.'

"Quick, start the car!"

Dog chews 'The Cat Book'.

"And, when the DNA test results arrived, the woman realized her so-called 'little terrier mix' had been part German shepherd all along."

Facts of life - The birds and the dogs.

"They think we're their best friend. Just play along with it."

"You mustn't pull the cat's tail so hard it tugs the head inside, sweetie!"

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

"It get it – you're hungry."

"Hey Lady this is a sixty zone!"

"You were right: I don't like water, but I do love snow!"

"Why, you little Shih Tzu."

"Can I keep them? I found him on the internet?"

"For the girls—Kimberly, Caitlin, Lauren, Cindy, and Tracy. For the boys—Cameron, Christopher, Adam, Jeffrey, and Gregory."

Raw food, after you leave for work.

"I wrote this next song about my cat. It's called 'Please stop rubbing your face against my computer screen when I'm trying to watch Narcos.'"

A Copy Editor and His Dog

"I know it’s an issue, and we’re working on it in therapy."

Cat Nip.

"He was a very good boy."