Dog-owning Uncle Gifts

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

How Nature Senses a Change in the Weather

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

'There's old Jim off to the shops. Slowed down a lot these days, ain't he.'

'The economy being what it is, we've had to make a few changes in your retirement plan. . .'

"It doesn't do anything all day but eat and sleep and get waited on by a staff of bipeds. I think we've found the leader."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

Rejuvenile Delinquents.

Dog traps the postman.

Four bites a second is about as fast as anyone can chew.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

"A gentleman would offer his seat."

"Hang on - I'm not as young as I used to be. . .!"

'Say... I just had no idea the red haired freckled dutchmen were so good with kids!'

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

'You're so nice and friendly that I've got nothing to moan about. That's a bit of cheek!'

Nancy Drew Mysteries - The Later Years

"Yes, we're supposed to sing, but not Rap!"

"I'm feeling like there's a 'good boy' on this side of the room."

You need a new reading light

'I remember, Fido, winning isn't the only thing...there are also stud fees.'

'Ever think it's a whole new world for us old guys?'

Why cat yoga classes don't work

Clown baby.

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

"The dog wants out again!"

'I'd say that was just the thing to wear on a visit to an 80-year old uncle in Texas who's going to leave you five million dollars.'

"'Golden' years, my a**...."

"I have to bring him with me otherwise he wouldn't let me indoors."

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

Farmer and the Loove Dog!