Dog-jest-advocates Gifts

'Ball! Ball, Boy! Go get the ball!'

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"Who wrote this "Law of the Jungle" nonsense? It is highly biased in favour of predators!"

'Oh, it is so totally on, now!'

"Why... are there so many people who never eat pork? Because we have some excellent PR people working on our behalf."

"Well... that rhino horn's doing absolutely nothing for me..."

"Is your dog friendly?!"

'Are you serious? I've got a good mind to report you to the grievance commitee'

"Well, when you were called a 'bad dog,' were you publicly harmed?"

"Your test results are in. You've got Irritable Growl Syndrome."

"Hey. That's my Roscoe. I always thought he liked that game."

"I thought they only used the ink for protection..."

'And this bone, would you say he wanted to pick it for quite some time?'

Boomerang fetching

"Let's talk about my Right of Publicity after this photo."

'There are 10 great things about living with a senior dog. We're already potty trained, and we don't jump around and chew your stuff.' og proceeds to lie down saying 'The other reasons will come to me after my nap.'

"I-800-DOGYLAW"

"He wants the cat for his next trick. I'd be real careful about this, Eileen."

'Never mind me, save the whales'

"His hip isn't getting any better. I really should have him put to sleep."

"Now look! You've upset him!"

'So I decided, why not a REAL attack dog running mate?'

Down with leather bookbinding. Read paperbacks.

Metro transit authorities ban pets. However Metro pets retaliate forcefully.

"I'm getting out of the dog walking business! Last night I chased a cat up a tree!"

Ban Low Flow Toilets.

"We'd like a building where a sweet little cairn terrier can bark once in a while without the neighbor's getting absolutely hysterical."

Australia & California Wildlife Burned

'The book isn't a self-help book, it's telling you that dogs aren't as important as humans.'

Goose dreaming

Here lie the earthly remains of Cal Can, beloved town dogcatcher.

"Santa, sorry for the soy milk and vegan fig bars - Caleb."

A turkey holds up a sign reading "Repent!"

"Did you or did you not employ a leash to drag your cairn terrier, Jack, away from the corner of Park Avenue and Sixty-fifth Street in spite of his making every effort to clearly indicate to you that he wished to stay where he was?"

"Sorry, but nobody around here reads anymore."