Dog Enthusiasts Gifts

"If I die first, you should remarry. If you die first, I'll get a dog."

'I like what you've done with your person this year.'

"Yes, but you're a half hour late in dog minutes."

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

'This way we solve the security problem and pony problem at the same time!'

Hollywood/Vine: 'Wow! Lassie was here! And Rin-Tin-Tin!'

Flying Dachshund

'Beware of acid rain,ozone depletion, middle aged spread,the greenhouse effect,oysters out of season,toxic landfills,air pollution,blue mondays...'

'Yeah Rex, my Masters are packing their suitcases too: It looks like we'll see each other at the boarding kennel soon...'

What if pets did housework...

'I've come for a refund!'

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

'Master Pavlov is a bit strange these days: For some reason, he rings a bell before serving us dinner...'

"I thought we swore never to go to bed angry."

'Hoping to help me with dinner, are you?'

Poot Dog - Dog is startled awake by farting.

"It's a soluble aspirin you fool!"

"I really should be howling."

'Stop introducing me as your bitch!'

Bonzo was the most spoiled dog on the block...dog thinks 'no wine cellar' to his new kennel.

"How did you get past my secretary?"

'Aha! So you're the one!'

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."

Some anti-wrinkle cream, please.

"It's time to monetize fetching."

Dogs on Pinterest

'Dad, I know we're supposed to hate postmen, but what is the etiquette for couriers?'

"I'd like to speak to you in my capacity as your dog."

The locker room door suddenly swings open, and Randy is busted by a steroid-sniffing dog.

'Come back in six months... and next time, bring your dog.'

PlayDog.

'Maybe we shouldn't have used the tail as the donor site for a skin graft.'

'Too sad that mailman Mike retired. He was my favourite taste.

'...and we offer a complete range of amenities, including, 24 room service, concierge staff and complimentary belly rubs.'