Dog Enthusiasts Pillows

"If I die first, you should remarry. If you die first, I'll get a dog."

'I like what you've done with your person this year.'

"Yes, but you're a half hour late in dog minutes."

'You do a fine job guarding the place, we just need you to shed less.'

'As it's your first day we're going to start you on something easy.'

Flying Dachshund

'This way we solve the security problem and pony problem at the same time!'

'I've come for a refund!'

'Yeah Rex, my Masters are packing their suitcases too: It looks like we'll see each other at the boarding kennel soon...'

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

What if pets did housework...

'Master Pavlov is a bit strange these days: For some reason, he rings a bell before serving us dinner...'

'Beware of acid rain,ozone depletion, middle aged spread,the greenhouse effect,oysters out of season,toxic landfills,air pollution,blue mondays...'

Bonzo was the most spoiled dog on the block...dog thinks 'no wine cellar' to his new kennel.

"I thought we swore never to go to bed angry."

"I really should be howling."

'Hoping to help me with dinner, are you?'

'Stop introducing me as your bitch!'

"It's a soluble aspirin you fool!"

Poot Dog - Dog is startled awake by farting.

House Broken.

'Aha! So you're the one!'

"This sure beats barking."

dandy dog dressed in top hat and tails

"How did you get past my secretary?"

"I'd like to speak to you in my capacity as your dog."

Dogs on Pinterest

Kisses/ Lick your balls.

'When I said 'pipe and slippers' I meant...'

"He's more of a shoulder dog than a lap dog."

'Have you seen the price of plastic bags lately?'

'Come back in six months... and next time, bring your dog.'

"It's over. I'm sorry. It's not you, it's me."

"You get two weeks of vacation, seven sick days and you can play dead twice yearly."

"My instagram feed is basically people, dog food, and tennis balls."