Dog Diner Aficionado T-Shirts

"I won't need a doggie bag."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"I understand this diner has quite a reputation."

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

F&E Diner. I'll bet you want the alphabet soup, right? Hey! Don't put words in my mouth!

'How would you like your toast?'

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

Mom's Diner/Mom's Desserts

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

Baracracy

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"A votre sante!"

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

'Would you folks care for some fresh maple syrup on your pancakes?'

"So, you folks see anything you'd like?"

Breakfast special: Eggs Benedict Arnold, $2.99: 'Yesterday's Eggs Benedict'