Dog Diner Aficionado T-Shirts

"I won't need a doggie bag."

"And the cheese in your omelette? Cheddar, Brie, aged Gouda, Morbier, Torta del Casar, Double Gloucester, Époisses, Shropshire blue, or American?"

'I'll have you know sir, that we used the finest columbian coffee beans in that dishwater.'

I'd like to take this menu and shove it where the sun don't shine. But I'll settle for the omelette & hash browns...

'Mom's Diner, Turkey Sandwich Special, $2.00.'

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

Waitress to church leader: 'It's your daily bread, Pastor. Remember? You ordered the prayer breakfast.'

"Vitamin B6, Vitamin B12, Calcium, Kelp, Brewer's Yeast, Aspirin?"

Diner

"I'll have the egg-yellow omelette."

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

I used to eat plenty of natural foods, but then I found out that most people die of natural causes.

'How would you like your toast?'

"The Halloween Special is the pork and kraut. It'll come back and haunt you."

"Eggshell in omelette make Hulk angry!"

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Eat Locally - All Roadkill From 8-Mile Radius

"And finally the chef's surprise - the check!"

'Gasview Hotel' - 'Dinerview Gas' - 'Motelview Diner' - 'Hiwayview Suites'

'Flipping pancakes.' 'Waiting with a net.'

'Would you like me to wipe the cup with my finger or would you prefer Rover here licking it clean?'

"A votre sante!"

"I'll have the prayer breakfast."

"This IS a chicken fried steak!"

Dave's Hamburger Shop

'I can't have you spending all of your money on fancy restaurants like this, Jeff.'

"So, you folks see anything you'd like?"

Breakfast special: Eggs Benedict Arnold, $2.99: 'Yesterday's Eggs Benedict'

Mom's Diner - Thanks for not talking about your father.