Dog Dialogue Devotee Gifts

Dogs Must Be On A Leash.

'Of course you have fleas, what would be the point of scratching if we didn't all have fleas?'

"We've known each other for years Bob, and this grooming style suited you when you were young, but it's time to let it go!"

'Iguana know what time it is.'

Conversation between Dogs.

'Enough of my tapeworm - tell me about your fleas.'

'I don't mean to discourage you, but go home and play on your own range.'

"You mean, with that yakerpoop app, you can have a service stop by and puck up your bag of crap?"

"The 'yip yip yip' is mine. Stick to your 'woof woof woof.'"

'I told you, never utter that four letter work - 'walk!''

"How can you just sit there, wrapped in your own safe little world, when you know there are millions of squirrels out there?"

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

'Play dead.'

'This dingo penpal of his - they're Australian aren't they?'

"You know what I love? Rolling in dead squirrel." "Oh, my God, yes! How about peeing on the floor at Petco?!" "Wait, wait–what's the farthest distance either of you have rubbed your butt across a carpet?!"

"Cool hat, Walter. Where'd you get it?" "It came with the meal."

'So smart and yet so dumb.'

Dogs discussing human commend pet peeves.

Well, he's bought himself a new car with a "new car smell" of plastic fumes, so no, I'm not keen on going on car rides right now...

'I'm pretty sure she's talking to you - yes, you!'

"Sure, you can talk the talk, but can you swim the swim?"

"Are we sure he's the alpha?"

"I don’t know, Taylor – it seems to me, anyone who doesn’t talk to their dog is crazy."

"Are those the DNA results?" "Yep." "And?" "You're a dog."

"He chews his nails, his pencils, his glasses... and I get scolded for chewing his shoes!"

'He's a nice guy, but he doesn't bite, if you know what I mean.'

"If I hear 'Who's my widdle snoogie woogums' one more time I think I'm gonna snap."

'His barks's worse than his bite.'

"Barking can be very affirmational."

"My mother ate math homework while she was pregnant with me."

"Let's stop pretending we understand the English setters and just turn on the subtitles."

"Please. Please just stop barking."

"I wish you'd shut that door! - Were you born in a barn??"

"If I didn't bark incessantly for no reason whatsoever I think I'd go mad."

"If you could spend an hour with anyone, living or dead, who would it be?"