Dog Defuser T-Shirts

'He won't hurt you - just don't make any sudden moves.'

No Soliciting

A Change of Scene.

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

'Mmm … and he's ringing wet too. I just can't resist the smell of a wet dog.'

'You're leaving if I'm going to inject him?...

'Oh, the usual, a postman, a couple of salesmen, a pizza delivery boy, how was your day?'

Dog being carried off by ducks.

"We keep revisiting this leash thing... Why is it so difficult for him?"

"Sometimes I think they hired me just to take the blame."

Clown walking his balloon dog.

'Oh oh...this isn't my mace, it's whipped cream!'

'This breed can smell incompetence.'

'First we had her fixed, then we had her gussied up.'

A stronger drink

'I can't go in there now, I'll look ridiculous.'

'I hear the meeting was cancelled last Saturday.' - 'Yeah. Someone drugged the hare.'

"Honey,...Oscar wants to go for a walk."

Homework eating dogs

Surface Tension

"Ms. Hoffman, we're from the SPCA investigating allegations of animal cruelty. Is it true that you force your small dog to wear holiday sweaters?"

'Shut-up, stupid dog!'

'And if he does get through the invisible fence, our drone will zap him from 40,000 feet.'

'Every dog has his day - But the nights belong to us.'

"Oh, he's an alarmist. Trim his wick and he'll be fine."

'Unbelievable money maker.'

"I'm taking him out to do his 'job'."

'Baxter wouldn't hurt a fly. Unfortunately fleas are another matter.'

"That should keep him off our backs for a while."

I Love You, Man! Dude, that's just the catnip talking.

'And after they figure out human rights, they'll start on ours.'

"I know, I know, he's like ... 'one of the family,' but I still find it unnerving..."

"It's from the dog's lawyer. Seems his unconditional love has some conditions."

Postman wearing protective shin pads.