Doggy Distractor T-Shirts

"That should keep him off our backs for a while."

'Hey Harry, you know you've been walking around with a biscuit on your nose for the last two hours?'

'No, I'm not stranded. This is the only place I could find that has no distractions.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"It's essential I go to work to avoid being with my family."

'Every time I turn my back, he's learned another one of your bad habits.'

"Pssst. Fake poop."

'Cheryl, you are getting way too wrapped up in the dog.'

Fido and Fifi

I know it's you that's been digging up my garden. I certainly didn't put those rose bushes in.

'Maybe I haven't made myself clear enough. I really don't want to be disturbed today!'

"I tried working at home, but my wife didn't like me performing colonoscopies in the dining room."

"Are you listening to me?"

'Journey of self-discovery' Dog realizes he can make his leg move when he scratches.

'If you don't stop interrupting me with your phone calls, we're never going to finish our face to face meeting.'

"I think the dog swallowed the remote!"

Identical twins, separated at birth. Both like to...chase cars, take naps, fetch sticks, bark, sit on furniture.

'Do you mind? I'm trying to read.'

'It's not that I don't like dogs, I'm just more of a cat person,'

Squeaker Trophies

A dog locks a man out and sleeps in his bed.

'Strangest turtle I ever saw!'

Veterinary Surgeon's waiting room, dog walking in through pet door.

"It's for what?! I thought it was a bark amplifier!

Seeing Eye to Eye Dog

'He did not bite you! Those are just teeth marks.'

'Look, I don't know what repulsive smelly thing I just ate, but I know what I like.'

"I consider myself to be a counterproductive member of society."

"Now that the person chewing gum so loudly has finally stopped, perhaps we can all pay attention to what I'm doing here."

Even in a family photograph, the Doberman's remained expressionless, leaving the viewer unsure if they were happy, or about to attack.

'Hey, where's my dog?'

'Every dog has his day - But the nights belong to us.'

'Phone-b-gone, gets rid of unwanted phones.'