Dog Collar Collector Gifts

SERMONS 'R' US - everything for the clergy.

Woman setting out a dinner party with name cards labeled cat person, dog person.

"My owner is teaching me to think before barking, which gave Federal Express plenty of time to clobber me."

Dog in love

'I don't know...they all look like cows to me.'

Milking the Cow.

"You know that moon was passed a minute ago?..."

"There HAS to be a giant ball at the end of all this string."

"When I was a puppy, I barked as a puppy, I understood as a puppy, I thought as a puppy. But when I became a dog, I put away puppy things except for my shabby, old, beat-up stuffy toy. I still freaking love this thing."

'I am SO getting my ass kicked at the dog park.'

"Yeah, this many ways to contact her if I'm lost might be overkill."

"I was going to get a cat but they had an offer on."

Mummy?!

"When you said you wanted to bring a pet to work, I thought you meant a DOG!"

'Researching the opossum article.'

'Not another copycat accident?!?! That bloody nursery rhyme's got a lot to answer for.'

"It's lost all meaning in the steroid era."

This is Roscoe, our first pooch

Free Range Cows.

"No, I'm only interested in dogs and cats."

"Sorry, Noah, these are all mid-sized. You'll have to eat the leftovers."

'No collar, no din-din,' said Mrs. Flint firmly. 'Omigosh,' thought Larry, 'Fifi will never give it back!'

"Hold on - 1...2...3...?"

'You know Solomon, I just keep feeling that something isn't quite right today.'

Museum of dog memorabilia

Gardener pulling a tree through a dog park with a dog marking his territory.

"Is it just me or does the dog seem calmer since you got it that new collar?"

"You remind me of someone."

'Our accident in Wyoming wiped out our vacations for the next 5 years.'

"That's just UDDER NUN-sense."

"She's a weiner cat."

It's not so much modern art, it's more...revenge!

'Serves me right for frowning.'

"Don't you think it's about time you milked me?"

"I'm adopted? Well that explains so much."