Dog Cafes Gifts

No Humans Allowed

"Waitress, have you smoked salmon..?"

We're here at House of Java cafe at an all-too-familiar scene. House of Java.net Cybercafe. Tommy Jones, a local boy, has been caught stealing a scone. A minor offense? Not to the cafe's proprietor. He's demanding the boy be sentenced as an adult. But I'm eight! Wahhh! Add a year to the sentence for whining and crying.

"Who ordered the double chocolate parfait with a cherry on top?"

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

Today's special... donuts.

What nationality were your parents? North or south Poles?

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

Hats and Food

Drink for me and my hot mamma. Now! We don't serve beer. Latte. Two, punk! Decaf. You don't want to see him angry. Also, low-foam and soy milk would be great. You don't want to see him gassy. Can I get one of those little Twizzler sticks to stir it with? Cube of brown sugar, please. And one nonfat blueberry scone! Two! I'd like to see how John Wayne would've ordered a fancy coffee drink.

Wasting away again in Cappuccinoville.

Joe's Kaff for Dinners! And Afters Too!

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'Ooo! The dog food sounds good! ... mind you, I always have that at home.'

'We don't know which gate flight 311 to Denver is boarding. These are the menus.'

'Who had the ocean whitefish and tua paté?'

"All you're doing is emboldening cats."

Raphnrrf? Raphnrrf? Umpha? Frfee? Maamr? Pick.

Dog wearing jumper to hide his spots.

"Big n' tall" "Small n' long"

"They say we destroy plants – such as potatoes, corn and carrots – and they're boycotting us. They're fruitarians."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

The American Tearoom, Moscow

'I'll have toast and he'll have a complete dog's breakfast.'

Swallows returning to Cappuccino.

'You made me jump.'

"Howdy folks. My name is Mary-Lou and I'll be your server tonight."

Hair of the dog spots: christmas jumper

What's the insect de jour?

'Thanks for coming out with me. I really needed a caffeine fix.'

Dave's Hamburger Shop

If you don't give me a free hot chocolate, you're probably not a patriot. #$%* Fox News.

'Our special of the day is spam sandwiches.'

A sign outside a bookstore reads: "Meet the people in the bookstore cafe staring at their laptops 2-4 p.m."