Doctor With A Twist Pillows

Dr Dinaram Cardiology: Hurt Feelings and Broken Hearts

Man is stopped from entering doctor's surgery by a receptionist dressed as a bouncer.

Medical Building Directory: Dr. Larry Nix, Dr. Sally Putty, etc..

"Hope you don't mind, but I can't find my little hammer."

Onion operation.

"Last week on 'Top Surgeon' Erica won immunity, while Carl was sent home for killing his patient during routine gallbladder surgery."

'Are you writing my symptoms, or is that your autobiography?'

9 out of 10 doctors recommend keeping their stethoscopes in the freezer.

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

'You don't have a heart murmur, but your liver is muttering.'

Kid to sister: 'I never play doctor anymore. There's too much paperwork.'

"Doctors, Gilby, Beam and Henson. Ears, nose and throat."

Surgery Instructions.

'I had this two years ago.'

Fish swimming around inside drip.

"They used to call them G.P.s."

"And more intriguingly, your prognosis differs depending on which search engine I use."

"We've determined that it sucks to be you."

The Big Book of Really Hard Surgery

"If you don't feel better in a few days give me a call and I'll completely ignore you."

'My speciality is referring patients to the right specialist.'

"...that's the way, aha aha I like it, aha aha....!"

"And I suppost you've never had a friendly wager with a colleague?"

"These aspirin are for me. That patient in room 102 is a real pain!"

"My Doctor said I needed more exercise so I jogged down to the donut shop."

"It's cooties."

'Nurse, has the staff been eating in pre-op again? There's mayonnaise on the scalpel.'

"Doctor Smith your 12:30 pain in the neck is here."

'I believe one of the doctors here practices alternative medicine.'

'He specializes in funny bones.'

'Spin GP'

Tipp-kick for brain surgeons.

'You're not my usual doctor.'

"First one to peek pays the other's malpractice premiums for the year."

'If you're tired of only hearing good news or bad news, we're running a special on 'meh' news.'