Diy Warrior Gifts

'Forget what it looks like now. Think of what it will look like after you've put 10 years of loving care and back-breaking labor into it.'

Husband - 'Honey, the Vandamyer's are here!' Wife - 'I'll be down in a minute dear! I'm just polishing my nails.' (Woman polishing metal nails).

'We come in pieces.'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

"Something went wrong after you inserted tab A into slot B."

I did it my way.

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

The Lion, the witch and the flat-pack self-assembly wardrobe: lion and witch putting a wardrobe together.

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

"So, how did the audition go?" "Great! I really nailed it."

"I want that dressing-room mirror fired."

'Quit fooling around, Gog. Do the assignment.'

A barbarian warrior eats his breakfast

"It boils down to which I dislike more: ironing shirts or non-iron shirts."

"I don't care what job you want, Bagshaw, for God's sake dress for the job you have!"

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

'I never said it was the comfy wear...I said it was the comfy look!'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

Cartoonist Stabbed By Censorship Swords

'That stuff kills 98% of household germs, but leaves the remaining 2% limping around enough to maintain your resistance.'

"Is there a seamstress present?"

"Remedial Karate"

'You've had a bad day? Try being stuck in this house!'

'Dude, ya hat's on backwards.'

'Why can I never find my camouflage trousers?'

"I'm looking for a nice basic piece of clothing that can fulfill every need I have."

'Can you wear something quieter than those old corduroys?'

"...and you've got private use of it, so long as you don't exceed 10,000 mile per annum.'

"OK, now I want everybody to put their hands together and make something with tools!"

"He may be Sven the Slayer to you, but to me he's still Mr Cuddly Bun!"

"Ok, boy, one more time, then I'd better get this thing back to the battlefield."

Organic farm

"Sorry to interrupt, I just wanted to say how much I hate your dress."

'I tried on these jeans. I didn't think they were stretch jeans, but they stretched.'