Diy Repair Guru Pillows

"Never marry an engineer."

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"Take me to your mechanic."

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

Fixing the Computer.

Problem Solving

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

Fixing the TV.

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

House for sale - some assembly required.

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

"The blow drier is broken."

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

Enlightened Cursing

"Was it a fuse?"

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

Spring Cleaning

'Where do you keep the elbow-grease?'