Diy Repair Guru Gifts

"Never marry an engineer."

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

"Take me to your mechanic."

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

'You're using 14' nails on a 2' door? This is definitely a case where bigger is not better.'

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

'Sure you won 'Contractor of the Decade' five times, McWit, but what have you done lately?'

"Maybe the termite problem should take precedence over the chimney problem."

Fixing the Computer.

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

Prepare to meet thy mechanic.

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

Problem Solving

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

"It's a lot of work, but we've decided to renovate this old factory."

Fixing the TV.

Cutaway view of house undergoing renovation

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

"I fixed your leaky tap and the oven door... but there's nothing I can do with that dodgy seal on the fridge!"

House for sale - some assembly required.

'I think you want Phillips. Two doors down on the left.'

Man hitting a TV and going out of focus himself.

"Fine, you win. I'll call a handyman."

Enlightened Cursing

"I aways thought it would be stylish to live in a house with high ceilings."

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

"The blow drier is broken."

'Well, in the hands of my husbnd it's almost as lethal as a loaded gun.'

"Was it a fuse?"

Man falls through ceiling - 'Did you find the leak?'

Spring Cleaning