Diy Mechanic Pillows

"Thanks for fixing the muffler."

'Oops-sie.' (Car jacked through the ceiling).

"Dad can I help you change the wheel? I remember all the words from last time...."

'I'm 45, drive a hybrid, have a wife and two kids, change my own oil, and have had a vasectomy. What wine am I supposed to like?'

'Change is good.'

"Dad...face it...you need to buy a new car."

"Ahhh... close enough."

Domestic Superheroes!!

"I built this tree house for my kids. But it's so private, I've decided to use it as my home office."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

Jack of all trades

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

Self help acupuncture

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Let me through, I'm at Doctor.com.'

"He's having a hard time finding work."

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

"I haven't a clue what it does, but I don't know I managed without it"

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Tool Box

Rocking horse

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

Painting the Ceiling

"Home depot."

Problem Solving: Man rows desert island to land.

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"