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6 Quarantine-Friendly Fashions

'Something for the weekend, Sir?'

Haircuts

"Renk just discovered beard oil."

Use the body brush vigorously - he will enjoy it.

"Can you make wishes on fake eyelashes?"

Beauty is in the eye of the manipulator.

"Don't shave it. It gives your face character."

'You can't be serious! They wash you by dipping you in a tub of water! That's horrible!'

Emergency Hipster Beard

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'The siege is working my lord. They have food and water but no beard oil. I reckon they will surrender in 12 hours or less'

"Be creative...!"

Dating is so expensive...

'Wrinkles can't breathe in mud.'

"Face it, Clive - you're bald."

'We've got a special this week on nose hairs!'

One of the Ten Best Hair Days of the Year

"I'm not saying your after shave smells bad, but.. maybe you should use one mosquitoes don't like so much!"

Movember

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"Nice haircut."

The Cat Spa

'...so I simply combined my love of beards with my love of tattoos and this was the result!'

I cut my own hair — using a drone.

'Done the first, now shower, shave.' - The bear essentials.

"Same goash-darn thing every full moon, eh, Mr. Harper?"

"Dear Diary: Today I ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped. Ate, groomed, napped ... HAIRBALL!!"

"Do you have any of that after shave that makes me look like Brad Pitt?"

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

'Reach up and fold down into Uttanasa.' - 'Notice how you feel both physically and spiritually.' - 'Physically, I feel that my toenails are a bit too long.' - 'Hmmm... okay, what about spiritually?'

'Have you had a brazilian?'

Hair Traffic control.