Diy Expert Gifts

"Hello, and welcome to 'Homes Under the Hammer. . .'"

"Young Frankenstein"

Self help acupuncture

Painting by the numbers for adults

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

Stoneage puncture repair kit...

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Tool Box

Painting the Ceiling

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

'Can we afford you to save us money by repairing the car yourself...?'

'Can I invite my friends round to watch, Mom?'

'What's wrong with our new shed? Nothing - I'm sat out here guarding it.'

A man sees a leak in his ceiling and drills a hole in the floor under leak to by pass his apartment.

"I think I perferred the plain magnolia"

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

The Gardener's Calendar: Try to Repair It...

"This is a neighbourhood vigilante area."

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

"I saved us a hundred bucks on a Jolly Jumper."

"I sensed you needed my help. I’m Saint &@!#%&!!, the patron saint of cursing."

Do it yourself books.

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

'You certainly have a well equipped workbench.'

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

"Flat pack furniture is my passion. It's just a shame I haven't the space to assemble it."

"You need to take this thingamajig...and attach it to the whatchamacallit using a turny thing."

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."