Diy Diva Gifts

The quarantine self cut.

'Your house is made of cheese. You don't smell that?'

Binge Scrapbooking: the morning after.

"We're getting somewhere now. This is the exact opposite of what I want."

'Stop laughing - Have you never seen a girl putting her make-up on?'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Ghah! I hung the new mirror upside down!"

"I don't think Grammy liked the way her last crochet project turned out."

"Straw, sticks and bricks are in aisle seventeen. Wolf repellent is in aisle four."

DIY pedicure

"Shall I make you another outfit, Gracie?"

Gracie places a wig in a glass case in case of emergency.

"I'd like some ceramic tiles."

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."

Wife expresses disgust at inappropriate birthday present.

Al's Hardware: Best Seller 'Do it or else Fix-it guide for the unhandy wife,'

Cut out and keep your own hairdresser.

"Here's a letter from a housewife in the southern tier of the kingdom. She writes: 'Sire, would it or would it not be appropriate to use a sand-finish latex paint on a wall on which there remains some painted-over wallpaper? Respectfully, Mrs. R. Jones.'"

'Stocks closed higher on the news that Martha Stewart Industries was named to redecorate Saddam's palaces.'

Wallpaper over a door.

'I wonder how my husband is managing at the construction site with my gavel.'

'Not now, mother! I'm assembling my sexy wall unit.'

"Well, a DIY manicure using a plane was my first clue..."

'Now it's curtains you want! You're always thinking of something!'

"You just poke some twigs into some bark, and voila!"

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

Home hair styling

"I spent twelve years making this. Where's MY award?"

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

"Honey, do these sweatpants make me look like I prefer we stay in tonight so I can watch the game?"