Divorce Escapologist Pillows

"I'm at that awkward stage between credit card payments and alimony payments."

"This was a wicked-hard test. I'm pretty sure everybody got a bad grade."

You're next, Mr. Kimble - right after his apple danish.

"I've just about had it with these corporate retreats!"

'Miss Fenwick - I don't want to see anyone today!'

'I'm not very good at mingling.'

Man at Fire Escape sees door with 'Hot Button Issues Escape',

"Don't be afraid – it's just your office,"

Guru levitates while wife vacuums.

'Out of office - Please leave your emails in the inbox next door.'

"I am afraid Mr. Jones is in his career coaching session. Can I get him to call you back?"

Houdini 2019

"IF you wanted to leave, why didn't you just say so?"

"If my husband finds out about us. . .listen, we must cover our tracks so well that no one believes that dinosaurs and humans existed at the same time!"

"Your blind dates is at the bar - I'll upgrade you to a table by the getaway door."

Danny always had trouble with math. (written on board: Ohio is the capital of Wisconsin.'

'Wait for me!'

"I'm un-retiring today. Spending time with my family with hell."

"I'm out if that is a manufacturer."

Tortured by music

'Jane It used to be jungle out there'

"Another tiny victory in my never-ending quest for fun."

'Sir! Elsworth's away from his desk again!'

'Survived the audit'

"Are you sure the Russians didn't hack my answers to make me look bad?"

"I fled from suppression, torture, exploitation and bullies."

'The entire building has settled seven inches since the first day of school due to the weight of the students' backpacks.'

'I worked so hard to get into debt, I don't have the energy to work my way out of it.'

"Now remember, act normal!"

'We're going to need a bigger rug or we're sunk.'

Halfway around the learning curve, Bob lets go.

"Please go to voicemail...please go to voice...Oh Hi...so glad I caught you!"

"This will help us stay one step ahead of the bank regulators."

'Not so fast Mr. Smith... you're forgetting the fit note I've filled out for your employer.'

"You have a right to know—I've been married occasionally."