Divorce Aficionado T-Shirts

'You were right - the honeymoon is a bad time to get to know a gal!'

"Call me?"

"I'm just saying. This would be even MORE romantic if we couldn't see in the dark."

Mantis Love

"Most women find me too cutthroat."

"I'll be honest with you, I've been around the block a few times."

Today, proud and accomplished the career woman re-enters the dating world, ready at last to meet the man of her dreams. . .

"Sorry I'm late: my parents insisted I wear protection on our first date, so I stopped to buy a flea-collar..."

"Since my divorce I thought I'd never laugh again. Then I noticed your toupee."

"My wife's lawyer doesn't understand me."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

Banana Smoothie

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

'I'm developing a foot fetish.'

'Your therapy helped me leave Frank. Franks wants to thank you personally.'

'You think you're an incurable romantic? My prescription is to get married.'

I can't bear to be without you.

'I even love the way you snore!'

'Wow, 600 lbs of dark chocolate signals that you won't mind my inevitable obesity.'

'You're a filthy pig, Gordon! I guess that's why I love you so much.'

"I'm gonna talk to her. How's my breath?"

"Oh Darling, you're spoiling me! I've never tried tropical fish!"

'He's not getting lucky tonight. He smells too good.'

'I met the greatest guy! He's sweet, he's handsome, and his insurance policy is Equity Indexed Whole Life!'

"The difference between a great guy and a total loser? I'd say it's about this much Merlot."

'You are very deer to me.'

Love

"Looks like Rick's scored."

"An 'Irish divorce' doesn't have quite the same ring to it as a 'Mexican divorce'."

'Knock it off, you two. This is why I hate double dating.'

"...so you'll finish it off with a felt tip."

"I can't give you my love, but here's my fish."

"Looks like the Huffman divorce is in previews."

'I love you and my hair loves you.'