Divine Techies Gifts

"Like, hello? nothing's wrong with the software. You hit delete. If you want to answer prayers, hit send."

Polly txt speak

'We've re-branded.'

"I do tech support for the cloud."

"Did you notice how the cables never get tangled!"

"I have an app for that."

Newton's cradle

'Ask about our daily sermon by fax plan.'

First O.M.G. church.

Cybernetics Research Lab.

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Holy phone

"And the weird shall inherit the Earth, for their ways are difficult for A.I. algorithms to figure out."

Pete's trying to groom himself"

"Rayna, will you be my girlfriend?"

"To create the universe, hit the space bar."

Heaven is unattended...leave your prayers at the sound of the tone.

'This spreadsheet program has really been enhanced since I installed the Ouija board.'

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

"I can tell much more about you if I read your Palm Pilot."

'Does it come with any Apps'

"If only they knew we can still get texts up here."

CAN'T FIND CHARGER

"Hey - it says here that humans used to have these things called 'legs'. Apparently they used these legs to 'walk' to the shops and actually buy stuff in person...!"

'Might have a bit of a tinker with gravity . . .'

No Connection.

"Tell the Boss that we have a MAJOR computer glitch!"

'He meditates,on the harmony of nature and the meaning of life for a few weeks, and then - Zap! - A new silicon chip.'

Guru logs on to 'Why-fi'.

"I hate this damn thing!"

'Well, he's back from tech support.'

I'd like to check my e-mail...

"Every time I offer them an upgrade, they click on 'not now'."

'Will you be able to shrink their heads with just broad band connection?'

"Oops - a leftover piece. Where does this go? Should I toss it? Why did I even create an appendix?"