Divine Intervention Humorist Gifts

Invoice.

Football Hand of God.

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"Chaplain, the lord should put warning labels on some of his creations."

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

"Intelligent design...well, duh!"

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"I don't know… Did you try Googling it?"

I'm sorry, all our angels are busy at the moment. Please hold and your prayers will be answered in the order it was received.

'Oh-oh -- What hath He wrought now?'

'Read that last part back to me.'

Vicar wearing sunglasses.

"Beware of God"

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

Out for lunch... GOD

'Have you got anything for omnipotence?'

''Born again'? -- but I was just born five years ago!'

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

'Telling me He works in mysterious ways!'

Excommunicate Me.

"Betcha can't hit the same spot twice in a row."

"Maybe you're right. Maybe the multiple exclamation points come across as over excited and insincere."

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

"According to the breathalyzer, the wine definitely represents your blood."

Vicar prays for money for church repairs.

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

"Just my luck."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."