
Jesus Suddenly Realizes It's Almost Father's Day
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Jesus Suddenly Realizes It's Almost Father's Day
"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."
CEO.
On the fifth day, Neville opts for jewelry.
'We know it's good...we had an excellent ghost writer.'
'We are gathered here...'
The Re-Giving Tree
"Read the card! Read the card!"
'Wait until you see what you got me!'
"I'm not giving up the present till I see the party bag."
I should have known the romance was gone from our relationship when...
So what else did you get for your birthday?
"I see many gifts. They say do not open till Christmas."
'Where are you, Mrs. Harris? I have another delivery for you.'
"Honey - this is soooo special!"
'It's my stool sample.'
'...Now we'd be expecting turning water into a decent '67 vintage at the VERY LEAST!'
'You're kidding? Your birthday wasn't REALLY six weeks ago was it, darling?'
The Water Diviner
"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."
'You remembered our anniversary!'
'Eric, who gave me a handmade bookmark for Christmas, gets a 62 percent on the midterm. Ann gave me a mug. She gets a 71. Gina gave me a weekend for two in Vienna. She scored a 98!'
The Cheese God
The wedding-day - first anniversary.
"The Good Lord is an excellent reference, but without a phone number..."
I think the real question is, why do I feel I have to give out toys? Can't people like me just for me?
"The new year is an excellent time to celebrate new beginnings by exchanging gifts with those you love."
"What did your tia Carmen get you for Christmas?"
'Yes, son, it's the thought that counts. But I've found it helps if it's an expensive thought.'
Angel
What are you getting for the baby shower? She's got an online registry at some giant baby store. Nice! Then you can get exactly what she wants. And at the party .. Everyone knows exactly what I spent! Better add a few onesies to your order.
Holiday Shopping
Gracie cuts the bottom branches off the Christmas tree to make room for presents.
'She's behaving just like an adult.'
'Wow! A spare head! Thank you!'
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