Divine Gift Giver Gifts

"Candy wuld be nice onice in a while."

Grace For Flies

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Sana's Back with his soot eating grin.

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

"From the gentleman at the end of the barre."

celebrating a birth.

'They're dog roses!'

'You got anything that says I put some thought into this gift?'

Christmas Presents.

'Yeah, yeah, very cute... she couldn't have just sent me an e-card?'

'If you really loved me you would have bought me flowers.'

Psychiatrist says: 'Oh, no! Not another fruit cake?'

'No sharing gifts! You get the Teddy Bear, he gets the bone.'

Love.

'Kids like my presents, but do they really like me?'

Birthday Racing Car

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

'Why thankyou! ... and I've got one for you!'

Valentines Balloons

'And that,and that,and that...'

'Do I have to give thanks for all the spinach, or just the bite I'm going to eat?'

New life (organ donation)

'Awww, isn't that nice: This one says 'PS: Love to Rudolph!''

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

Saying Grace.

'Aha! You can tell Dottie and the kids I didn't forget their presents!'

'I don't need to know what it is when it's on sale.'

A feminist Christmas.

'Don't worry -- I used a bond issue.'

'A globe warming party?...Guys, you shouldn't have!'

"Mom...There's nothing to do..."

'The farmer's kids asked me to wake them early tomorrow: It's Christmas day!'

'You've agreed to work Sundays, haven't you!'

'If you ask me, toys are getting far too realistic!'