Divine Gag Appreciator Pillows

"Sorry. I'm molting."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

'Hey, mac, is this your idea of glasnost?'

Comedy School: 'Please knocky nicky nooo!'

Mediterranean Martini

Heaven

''Adam and Eve'? -- then You're going ahead with the dualism idea?'

Odds 'n Ends/Odd 'n's

"You know, Larry, you really don't have to carry that thing around to tell "knock-knock" jokes."

"It can cut through anything ... well, almost anything. There still is governmental red tape."

"It was a gift from god."

Today's presentation - God's Miracles.

"Being God just doesn't pay as much as you'd think it would."

'Stay back from the edge. Remember what happened to the last angel that fell.'

'Free! Bonus! X-Ray Glasses!'

'I thought everybody would be equal here'

"It's from my Swiss account."

'The diagnostic computer thinks it's a punishment from God.'

'Let's have some fun -- let's make them responsible for their own actions.'

"It's the deep end."

Wordplay: Gauntlet.

'Oh, dear! — your baptismal certificate was never notarized!'

'Oh gross, manure.'

God Gives His First Press Conference

A woman dips her feet into a pond.

'Make it threescore and ten, or we'll end up with a big Social Security crisis.'

"Oh my god! I'm not wearing clean underwear."

'What the...? How the heck did that get in there? Oh, well, I guess it will have to do.'

"Okay Eve, how many times do we have to go over this whole apple thing?"

'It's one of those evenings when I just open a can.'