Divine Diy Person Gifts

"On the eighth day, God found a lot of assembly parts left over."

"Ikea for hippies" 1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

"Happy Anniversary, dear! It's a gold spray-painted macaroni necklace."

'I installed all the floor tiles by myself. I did it all by tile and error.'

D.I.Y

Axle greaseMarine greaseElbow grease .

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

"Want to impress me with that hammer? Try using it to fix a few things around here."

Problem Solving

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

'What's the best kind of glue to fix a TV screen?'

Your Home Remodel Team

Fixing the TV.

Like father like son.

'Mom! -- Jeffrey's pimping the wall!'

'Frank is into D.I.Y...'Destroy It Yourself'!'

'I think this is deep enough for the foundations!'

You're right, it's the house next door that gets the new window.

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

"Was it a fuse?"

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

Enlightened Cursing

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

'Please excuse the mess. The interior decorators are in.'

Music

A history of "high" fashion for old guys.

"Can't we just get some load-bearing wallpaper?"

"I've been working on this project non-stop, twenty four-six!"

Fred's not sure who to call first: 911 or the plumber he should have called in the first place.

'As a kid I was always taking things apart...so, anyway, that's when my parents stopped getting me pets.'

"Don't disturb Daddy darling: he's just received his new issue of "Basic Tools Monthly"..."

Kenny's mom always made his lunch.