Divine Debate Fan Gifts

"Actually, sir, the rules were chiseled in stone."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

'Just ask yourself -- Are you better off now than you were two thousand years ago?'

'He took from the rich and gave to the poor? It sounds like wealth redistribution.'

"You seem troubled, Pastor. Is anything worrying you...I mean aside from the sins of the world, the vanity of humankind, man's inhumanity to man..."

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"But I see you're having difficulty following my argument."

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

"Mrs. Marsha Mullhouse, of Kenosha, Wisconsin, asks, "Are You subject to the laws of physics, or are the laws of physics subject to You?"

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"Any distinguishing 'PARSONAL' characteristics?"

"I wonder how many people are claiming to be your messiah right now?"

"Mr. Pope, please give this summons to your boss. The prosecutor wants to know how god can allow so much misery."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

"He really isn't bad, per se, but he is kind of a jerk."

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

"And in a five-to-four decision today the United States Supreme Court rule that atheits may not barred from foxholes."

A not-so-happy God, with the Humans, sticking an Eviction Notice to the Earth

'As I see it, it's a toss-up between a Belgian data processing machine and an American electronic computer.'

"Putin's prime critic was killed. That would never happen in U.S. politics, because nothing gets done here!"

"I'm an agnostic now that I've started having self doubts."

Needless to say, God forgot the legs.

'I don't understand your question. Could you restate it as an answer?'

"Having completed the formation of the earth, on the seventh day the Lord rested. Then, on the eighth day, the Lord said, 'Let there be problems.' And there were problems."

'Just one God? - But won't he be outnumbered?'

"Instead of Red Team and Blue Team, why don't we make it Good v. Evil?"

'I'm all tired out from creating - let's just use NATURAL selection from now on.'

The George Bush Library Tour.

'So...who do you think you will vote for?'

Mega Pharmaceuticals Legal Dept. What if we claim a generic knockoff of our miracle drug is blasphemous?

Impeachment

"Resistance" Democrats Promise Bipartisanship with the Same Republicans They Called Scum

The Conservative majority in parliament leaves the Liberal party powerless

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."