Divine Comedy Explorer Gifts

"On the other hand, Louise N. of Metuchen, New Jersey, only gives you three stars."

Religious toilets.

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

"Beware of God"

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"That's my boy!"

The Reason for Storms

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

"Those who fail to capitalize pronouns referring to me are doomed to face my wrath! Otherwise I'm pretty laissez-faire."

'I guess it was a mistake to make them self-starting.'

"Looks like we're in trouble now...he's got four bars on that thing."

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

'Telling me He works in mysterious ways!'

Heaven

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

''Adam and Eve'? -- then You're going ahead with the dualism idea?'