Divine Comedy Explorer Gifts

"On the other hand, Louise N. of Metuchen, New Jersey, only gives you three stars."

Religious toilets.

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

'I don't remember predetermining THAT!'

'Why me Lord?' '...because yo have animal magnetism Noah...'

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'Let's have some fun... give Eve extra memory.'

"What? You broke number 3 already?"

"This Adam and Eve thing -- Is there a warranty?"

I don't think we can survive here. There's little chance we can afford the taxes.

"And almighty God said to Adam, 'Get a room already will ya!'" "Little known fact from the Book of Genesis."

'Well, there go all MY plans....'

Jesus sighted walking off Malibu

''No other gods before me'? Oh - You're one of THOSE types.'

"Beware of God"

"That's my boy!"

"Whew! What a day! I just get out of bed and all Hell breaks loose."

"No, you cannot have another planet. You only played with the last one for a week."

"I can never remember if it's smite or smote."

The Reason for Storms

"My name's God, and I approve this message."

"The amendments are coming next week!"

"Those who fail to capitalize pronouns referring to me are doomed to face my wrath! Otherwise I'm pretty laissez-faire."

God sends a text message: 'OMME!'

'I guess it was a mistake to make them self-starting.'

"If he doesn't like the hand puppet routine, I'll try running the burning bush idea by him."

"And the Lord he sayeth 'doest thou thinkest I knoweth not who sniggereth at the back there?'"

Heaven

'Telling me He works in mysterious ways!'

'Sorry, pastor, your soul's grace period is eternity, your car's is six minutes.'

"I've got dominion, I've got dominion..."

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'