Divine Card Dealer Gifts

'How do you expect to play Canasta when you left your brain to science?'

'According to this book, the casino has a slight edge in this game.'

'I can't stand his 'holier than thou' attitude.'

'Okay - who leaked?'

"At first, I was teaching Job a lesson, but now I'm just messing with him."

'Once again, I fold.'

'God sees everything? You mean He channel surfs?'

'Why do you always win at cards but not horses? I can't shuffle the horses.'

10 Commandments if God was a Woman...

"Because of the economic situation they've relaxed the rules."

"The deadline for compliance just kicked in."

Vicar's driving lesson "Here endeth the first lesson!"

'Does it come on Disc?'

Wayne Krasnicky - unlucky gambler and unlucky in love.

"Blasphemy, yes, but it was funny."

The Bible, signed copy.

'Another hit?' 'I'll stay.'

There were times when Ralph wished god didn't move in such mysterious ways.

Give Way To Cyclists

"No, not there! It'll block out all our light!"

"Lights...Camera...No Action...The Flaw in 'Celebrity Solitaire'"

'I detect you scanning my cards!'

"This fundamentally changes everything we know about elephants!"

What really happens inside an automatic shuffler.

"Who'd have thought it? It turns out you can take it with you when you die."

"You're a lying, cheating, son-of-a-bitch. You'll do well down here."

'Tell this joker he better not be holding a queen, or Ill wipe that smile right off his face.'

'I downloaded them from heaven.'

"I can't even deal."

Hit me.

Apostle shopping at 'Aeroapostle' Store.

'Careful. The house always wins.'

'What you did was not only 'wrong' - it was 'wrongedy-wrong-wrong!''

'Listen, I obeyed more or less 25% of your commandments. Don't you think that I deserve a promotion or at least a little raise for that?'

Today's lesson: the plague of darkness