Distracted Cook Pillows

How to correctly estimate cooking time

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

Writers' Compensation

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'Do you have anything for absent-mindedness?'

"The notion that *CRUNCH* architectural *CRUNCH CRUNCH* forms can *CRUNCH* express anything may *CRUNCH* seem difficult *CRUNCH* to *CRUNCH CRUNCH* grasp at *CRUNCH* all,"

"I like that you all brought enthusiasm, but did anyone bring food?"

'It might be a satanic cult: Not only did they chop his head off, they're stuffing his body with bread now...'

Robinson le Creusot

'Holiday insanity helpline.'

"So if I replace all the ingredients with sand I should be okay."

"Baldo, have you finished your homework?"

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"Tonight's our night. Try not to think about the fed."

"Judging by all the dishes, you have forgotten where the kitchen is. So, I programmed this GPS for you."

"You're the only man I know who can clean a filthy cooker with two slices of bread."

'I'm afraid I'll have to close you down. Your kitchen is infested with greenfly.'

Recipes From The "I Really, REALLY Hate To Cook" Cookbook

Ainsley Harriott: "..Then add the nuts!"

"I'm making dirty rice."

"Oh man. Tia Carmen's making that soup with all those weird vegetables."

'Dinner is ruined. I brought too many diet's home from the office again.'

'You've done it AGAIN,Doris- you've bought CAT food!!'

'Will open jars for food.'

"This year WE EAT LIKE WOLVES."

Some especially annoying types of packaging.

"Look at this grade...I just don't get it! Where is this coming from?"

Gone To Hospital.

"A crow should always listen for oncoming vehicles and be prepared to move..."

Mobiles and books

Watch where you're going