Distracted Cook Pillows

How to correctly estimate cooking time

'Who the heck told my wife I had rights to parental leave?'

Writers' Compensation

"Your mind is somewhere else." "My mind is somewhere else."

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

Cooking With Pollock.

'Do you have anything for absent-mindedness?'

"The notion that *CRUNCH* architectural *CRUNCH CRUNCH* forms can *CRUNCH* express anything may *CRUNCH* seem difficult *CRUNCH* to *CRUNCH CRUNCH* grasp at *CRUNCH* all,"

"I like that you all brought enthusiasm, but did anyone bring food?"

'It might be a satanic cult: Not only did they chop his head off, they're stuffing his body with bread now...'

'You heard! There's no way I'm cooking for you!'

'Holiday insanity helpline.'

Robinson le Creusot

"Baldo, have you finished your homework?"

'Today was a bit of a disaster.' - 'First I cut my finger and bled everywhere, then I lost my plaster while I was cooking.' - 'Do you want the last bowl of pumpkin soup?' - 'No, it's okay. You go for it.'

"So if I replace all the ingredients with sand I should be okay."

"Tonight's our night. Try not to think about the fed."

'I'm afraid I'll have to close you down. Your kitchen is infested with greenfly.'

"You're the only man I know who can clean a filthy cooker with two slices of bread."

Ainsley Harriott: "..Then add the nuts!"

"I'm making dirty rice."

"Judging by all the dishes, you have forgotten where the kitchen is. So, I programmed this GPS for you."

"Oh man. Tia Carmen's making that soup with all those weird vegetables."

Recipes From The "I Really, REALLY Hate To Cook" Cookbook

The teacher was in favour of comic relief... but, not in class time!'

'Will open jars for food.'

'You've done it AGAIN,Doris- you've bought CAT food!!'

'Dinner is ruined. I brought too many diet's home from the office again.'

"This year WE EAT LIKE WOLVES."

Some especially annoying types of packaging.

"Look at this grade...I just don't get it! Where is this coming from?"

Gone To Hospital.

'Since I cooked, you do cleanup. OK?'

"A crow should always listen for oncoming vehicles and be prepared to move..."

Mobiles and books