Distance Defender Gifts

"This is what happens when we don't practice social distancing."

". . . And it's Lucky Ji keeping at least two metres away from Nelly's Boy who is responsibly distancing two metres behind Desert Orea who is. . ."

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'You will now be presented with your degrees. That is, of course, after you jump through another one of our little hoops.'

Wall Street lights the American Dream on fire while citizens try to burn Wall Street.

'Eric! Look for his pressure point! He's got to have a pressure point somewhere!'

Science Snobs

Zoom Wedding

"Brutus! Attack with reasonable force!"

'I think your son is being bullied. He's suffering 80% Chinese wrist burns.'

'How long did you try before calling?'

Goal

"I'm afraid your M.B.A. loses some of its lustre in light of the fact that you were home-schooled."

"Bloody cold-callers - I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind. . .!!"

Death By Mattress

We all have our jobs to do here --- You guard against burglars and I'm the food critic.

'I hear a burglar downstairs, the poor fool.'

'I looked into their eyes before I shot them, with my high-powered rifle, from half a mile away.'

"This is an open-space office. How can they accuse us of insider trading?"

Man with fly swat - Let the games begin.

How do you keep cats out of your garden? I catch the little sneaks

"My husband has a thing about double glazing salesmen."

"It's road kill."

Door to door salesman sees sign: 'We have everything.'

Pest Control

Boxer Scarecrow Fends of the Crows.

'This has been taking up all of my time.'

"I'm afraid a qualification from 'the university of life' doesn't get you very far in the software industry these days."

"I don't let them bite. They just do."

'Maybe you should ease up on the burglar.'

"Stay away from the piranha tank."

A man is crushed by his sculpture of a hand.

Insomniaction figures.

My house is infected with bugs! Pest Control, Inc. Who shall I say is crawling?

"By the way, how's that lawsuit against the home insurance company going?"