Dispute Manager Gifts

Suck with a dispute!

Stuck with a dispute

'I'm glad you guys could work this out in a reasonable manner.'

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Growl - Hiss Conflict Resolution Meeting

'Just taking the dog for a walk, Dear.'

'To hear our privacy policy, please tell us you credit card and social security numbers...'

"Providing great customer care is of course important, but shall we start with how you manage forms TG-45S through to NSD-89b."

Very fat 'Office' facing more waiters with trays of demand

When the accounts department took the stationary cupboard Bob decided to book the Conflict Management course.

"I'm always impressed by these matrimonial agreements, as my wife and I have never agreed on a thing."

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

'Apparently Wednesday is early conciliation day.'

'It's Mr. Stebbins...he's getting back to you with a vengeance.'

Complaints about how we handled your complaint.

Awkward customers.

"S this is how you settle out of court."

"To become a department manager you've got to radiate authority and self-confidence! Authority! Self-confidence!!! Got me??!"

"The company's information flow is really simple: the boss doesn't tell the department managers anything, they don't talk to the team managers, who withhold everything from the workers."

"How am I supposed to know what I want to complain about before you've even said anything?"

"You have to follow the guidance on dealing with complaints precisely or else the shredder gets blocked."

Cat thrusts note through mousehole that reads 'Can't we talk about this?'

"Get ready to duck...we're caught in a departmental crossfire."

Suees and Sueers

'I know I can handle the complaint department. I've been married for 20 years.'

'Every complaint is a 'learning experience', now we're going to learn how to hide them behind the filing cabinet!'

Complaint clerk presses button to drop customer through trap door

"So I says to your husband, 'Mr. Blanchard, go home to your wife.' To which he retorts, 'You go home to her.' Ergo my presence."

"I want to complain about how long I've had to queue to make my complaint."

"The most worrisome part is they both work in the Dispute Resolution Department!"

"My main job is keeping these two apart."

3 Ways of Dealing with Conflict

"You're making some pretty big claims there. Might I remind you that this is a small claims court."

"Your issue should be simple to resolve. I'll just go and get someone less qualified to help you."