Dispute Officer Gifts

Stuck with a dispute

Businesswoman Empowerment

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Why won't you teach us how to handle complaints?"

Inclusive speech

"The company is very keen on diversity, could you reapply as a woman?"

"My preferred pronoun is they."

All Hail the Matriarchy

Glass Ceiling

'Our goal is to stress di-versity while remaining a uni-versity.'

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

"Typical company, I'm the only woman!!"

'Sex discrimination? What are you talking about?'

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

"We don't pay you less because you're a woman.. we pay you less because we're men!"

'Another thing?never use the term 'touchy-feely' as a negative.'

Sales and Diversity

"People are always banging on about the advantages of 'so-called' diversity."

'Oh, you'll love working here. Nobody treats you any differently just becuase of your age, race, or gender.'

"You'll go far...you think like a man..."

"Unfortunately my boss would rather that I show femur instead of backbone."

"Suppose we leave the salary unchanged but get smaller women."

"She's always like this at this time of the month!"

"I'm always impressed by these matrimonial agreements, as my wife and I have never agreed on a thing."

"We need to hire a few good men, and by 'men' I mean women and men."

'Of course, at first, there was some resentment but now the chaps seem to have accepted things graciously.'

'Your dilemma is fabulous. Imagine what a dramaturge could do with it.'

"Let's pay special attention to today's corporate training topic: 'Diversity in the Workplace'."

'You're so illogical. I can never win an argument with you.'

'I need to find you a company with strong anti-discrimination policies...'

'Apparently Wednesday is early conciliation day.'

"This is Professor Schvrtxvt from Ruritania -- he doesn't speak any English, but he sure is DIVERSE!"

"Ben, you're not a female – you have no idea what it's like."

"Before you speak to the manager, we want to congratulate you on being our one millionth irate customer."

'We're really the same, me and you. Same manufacturer even.'