Dispatchers T-Shirts

Night-shift entrance

'We subpoenaed all of 'Mr. Big's' electronic messages. They're in morse code.'

How Amazon was invented

'Who was the murderer? Well Watson, that's the killer question.'

Caution (arrow falling from sky sign)

Distributor in love with a multitasking robot.

Your Leaders Putting Words Into More Words

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

General Motors.

I understand that our cat Magus died. I miss her a lot. But I wish my parents wouldn't tiptoe around it. House of Java.net Cybercafe. You don't have to watch Youtube clips of "CSI: Miami" to understand that death is a part of life. The thing I don't understand about our cat's death is, who would've killed her and left a mountain of unresolved clues that only a crack forensics team can figure out? Where were you at 8:45pm? The Youtube generation grows up fast.

Man with desk organizers labelled 'Wheeling' and 'Dealing'.

Route 666.

'Hey, that's a bad roll. Let's try that again.'

"We think we've found the murder weapon Sir"

"TV violence made him do it. Says he'll name shows if we drop the charges."

Heavy Traffic.

Excessive Paperwork

"Hmmm...this'll be a tough one..."

'I am unable to find the words to respond to that.'

"This is too hard, but I'd recognize him on his own."

911: Would You Like Us To Commit a Crime?

Life in the Fast Lane.

'With all those presents Santa carries, do you think he packs heat? . . . And maybe he's not really fat, but he's wearing a kevlar vest.'

Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the US budget deficit.

'Honey, it's not the Feds. It's the pseudo-feds.'

Dispatched

"Yes, we've accepted late deliveries before... but 75 years!!!"

'I need an officer to respond to a report of a stolen donut truck.'

"I'm a little concerned about our distribution."

"Sorry, I spaced out. What were you saying about your life threatening emergency?"

'Haa, I've been a 911 operator waay to long to fall for that...'

'Hey, Mr. Harris, I've got your fresh fire wood here, where do you want it?'

'Good afternoon madam, we're Federal Bear Investigators. We believe a miss Goldilocks lives here?'

"Red 14...No, it's black 23, no, no..it's..."

"In my country I was a taxi dispatcher."