Demon Dispatcher T-Shirts

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

The Adventures of God

Night-shift entrance

"This universal remote is awesome. It controls the tv, cable, stereo, computer, garage door. . ."

"I need someone well versed in the art of torture- do you know PowerPoint?"

"Sorry, it will have to be fire, police or ambulance. Superman is busy right now."

Rosemary's Baby Supplies

'This guy's FAST!'

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

Now hiring: crowdfunding expert to reduce the US budget deficit.

Life in the Fast Lane.

'I need an officer to respond to a report of a stolen donut truck.'

Dispatched

911: Would You Like Us To Commit a Crime?

"Sorry, I spaced out. What were you saying about your life threatening emergency?"

'Haa, I've been a 911 operator waay to long to fall for that...'

'It was a split decision.'

"In my country I was a taxi dispatcher."

'Why can't you have inner demons like everyone else?'

'There is someone on the phone for you.'

That's a salad pitchfork, Bob.

Phyllis exercises her demons.

After budget cuts, emergency services streamlined their phone services.

Elephant Taxi Emergency

U R Here

'We can now tell you there's nothing we can do much quicker.'

"Victor one to control...we want to report a stolen car, Sergent - A white saloon with a little blue flashing light on top..."

'Ugh! Look at the state of our home office.'

I've organized us a double date with the twins from despatch. Cool! What are their names? Kylie and Troy.

'There have been a few changes while you were on holiday...It's all part of our new policy of maximising revenue generation from underutilised fixed assets.'

Flipping the Script

How's my driving? 1-900-555-3121

"Suspicious package under the Christmas tree? OK, please just stay calm and remain on the line."

"Do you think that social media is dumbing-down the art of conversation?"

'I'm not convinced hunting is an improvement on gathering.'