Dismal Day Observer Pillows

"Sorry, coach! But it is really dreary out there."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'As I see it, our choices are 'no' and 'hell no'.'

Mother Duck.

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

"He's only an associate but he's already reaping at a partner's level."

"Go ask your search engine."

"I'd say it's a fungal infection."

Artist is drawing a mug instead of the models.

"Smartphone sales" "Degradation of society"

Mobile Phone Mobile.

World of Cow - Goldfish aren't the only ones to grow into their environments.

'I've always found the stars disappointingly small.'

Handicap Parking Only - Ticket Odds 4 to 1.

Surreal Weather

Lemmings jump off a cliff wearing t-shirts reading 'I'm with stupid'.

"I feel like Brunnhilde, but in 'The Kentucky Cycle.'"

'Jenkins, there's no easy way for me to say this, so I suggest you download your dismissal as a PDF file from the company website.'

'His 'get-up-and-go' got up and went ages ago'

I'm sorry, the pension fund was beaten by two lengths!

"Nothing under me this year. We must social distance."

"He's giving 3-1 Magic Spider in the 230."

'You say that one day you win and the next day you lose? Why don't you bet on alternate days?'

"Talk about overkill. She broke up with me by text, 6 types of social media, and then through her attorney."

I see the Christmas shift has taken over nice and smoothly again.

A king and queen playing badminton while being held up by their servants in litters.

'Believe me, a pet doesn't do a day's work in his life.'

"One minute I was Chairman and Chief Executive of Mammon Industries, the next I'm the gallbladder in room 405."

"To think that my parents have been feeding me some rubbish about a stork for years!"

'What's it like being number 400 I know at 399 it's pretty cool and prestigious to be part of the 300s,'

"I see a horse down there." "No, looks like a cow, man."

'It would make me feel insignificant if I didn't make so much money.'