Disillusionment Detective Gifts

"These aren't pearly, just emulsion on wood...."

Man in office, desk covered in computer equipment, uses floor for photos, desk pads etc.

"Tee-Hee! Working like a charm!"

'I've forgotten the author and title - do you read minds?'

"Miss Jenkins, e-mail the housekeeper. Her telecommuting days are over"

Incognito Bonito - 'I don't know me, but I do know you!'

"So yes, I bit him! How was I supposed to know it was Master wearing a red fat-suit and a fake white beard?"

'As far as we can tell, the system went down because someone stepped on a crack in the sidewalk.'

60 minutes I.Q. test - pick the counterfeit.

Jean, bring me everything we've got on gravity.

"Really, Mr. Stevens, this fantasy of being turned into a giant frog is absurd. We both know there's no such thing as a curse, and you can't seriously believe your mother-in-law is actually a witch. . ."

'Vice squad - you're busted.'

"Are you feeling okay, Dennis? Your obituary is in the paper."

"It turns out our health plan does cover eyeglasses."

"It's a setup."

'He's a cheat I tell you - it's just a trick!'

'Miscellaneous' and 'Non-Miscellaneous' trays

"Has anyone considered that maybe his dress was a disguise?"

"I'm an atheist. I don't believe in programmers."

We have control of you brain.

Arnold's clone refuses to workout: 'You're a huge disappointment, dude.'

"See...polystyrene!"

"That's Gilbey's hat and Gilbey's binoculars, but that's definitely not Gilbey."

"We need to talk about procrastination."

"So in other words, we're hoping to discover what makes the nitty, gritty."

'Take a look at this everyone - it just could be the signature we've been looking for.'

'And that's your idea of a desk calendar...'

"I know at least two people who will sleep easier with him behind bars."

"They're not home.."

'Did you see who pushed you?'

"President Whipple couldn't make it."

'I actually find my Ghillie Suit a better camouflage option than my stripes...'

'Aaaaaaaaawwwwww!'

"I noticed he had punched air holes in his desk. Now I'm afraid to open it."

Federal witness protection agency.