Disengaged Spectator Pillows

"Go join your coach and the rest of your team. I'll be watching from the bar."

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"I AM at my usual position."

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

To attract a bigger audience, the world chess federation allow fans to distract an opponent when it's his move.

Guide reading book called 'A farewell to arms.'

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

'Football...Beer...Popcorn...that is Bernie's Stimulus Package.'

"Actually, Burt's weathering the stay-at-home thing pretty well."

"Whaddaya say we head home and curl up in front of a nice warm football game?"

"And Rooney's stretchered off the pitch after managing to stick his foot in his mouth..."

"How come I can't remember what I forget, but I always remember that I forgot something!"

"Whoa. Check it out, Doug. Your ex-wife is sitting right below us with that dolt she ran off with..."

'Frank's last request was that he be cremated and that I never give up his season tickets.'

'Why is laying around watching movies considered cozy, but laying around watching football is considered lazy?'

I think you just paid £5000 for cricket box, not a box at the cricket.

A football player accidentally kicks off the head of another football player.

'How come there aren't any peace heroes?'

"Get ready."

I think when they talk about 'taking more excercise' they meant more than lifting the remote control.

Octopus in the bleachers.

I told you you weren't allowed to stretch before the seventh inning. Security.

'I only come to the game for the half time entertainment and snack bar privileges.'

"Binge-watching squirrels. What are you doing?"

Finally, a big puffy hand for the losing team.

'I thought you wanted to get more involved with my sports.'

'I know my electric bills are way over due, but could you at least wait until the Super Bowl is over before turning off my electricity?'

The steeple-chase. Man reads a sign stating that no horseman is allowed to follow the racehorses over the course.

Winter Olympics

"I'll have a programme and sit on that."

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge

My first rodeo

Museum. Shhh!

"You just watch him Ethel. He'll sit there and say nothing, just to annoy me."

Carol simply couldn't relax knowing that at any moment five rowdy men might scream 'FUMBLE!'