Disconnection Devotee Pillows

I'd like to order a power outage. Huh? My wife's on her phone all day, my son plays video games nonstop. My boss finds me by email wherever and whenever. My pager rings 'round the clock! Say again? I was text messaging. Pull the plug, man!

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

Airport. Luggage. Baggage. Traveling used to be much less complicated.

"It takes a few days for them to detox from screens."

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

"Bonk!"

'What's most depressing is the realization that everything we believe will be disproved in a few years.'

"I'd call that 'A victory for science.'

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

As years of unspoken tension surfaced, Trunky refused to raise his hand like a coward.

"But you both can't be the 'father' of Ammonium Pentoxide Phosphate."

The only creation God was truly proud of was the Sabbath

"Behold, Penny. The 'Wi-Fi dead zone.'"

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Give Thanks.

"Then write it up for The Journal of Surprising Discoveries."

'Now that's devotion. Two broken arms and still working.'

"Please hold my calls."

'Don't tell me we've been following the wrong light!'

"I find it difficult to like him. He's too good at being humble."

"The following problem is not recommended for some viewers, or so our attorneys have advised us to say..."

"Do you have anywhere our friends won't have discovered?"

"Live your life devoid of attachments."

Man: 'What the...?!' / 404 ERROR!

Ed's Bar & Grill: Schadenfreude Hour 5-7

"I've done it – I've found the most basic particle!"

4 Reasons for Procrastination

"You've probably already guessed, ...I'm the bluebird of sloppiness."

"Here's ten dollars off the books, Mrs. Gregory. It's our way of reestablishing customer confidence."

Susan unexpectedly found herself living life in the fast lane due to a road detour.

Peace Fighting

'Delete - delete - delete.'