Disaster Tourist Ponderer T-Shirts

"You don't look like a hurricane victim to me."

"Look! No hands!"

Halfway across the Hudson River Billy Joe realized he wasn't going to Elvis Island.

"We have all the brochures, but we can't decide if we want to die on Mt. Everest or Mt. McKinley."

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

Devil's Tower Park. Ernie, this nice ranger has offered to show us the basement gift shop.

'You'll find there's no middle ground with Kirk Knoland.'

Experts through the ages.

"Oh goody! It's just like the Columbian Exposition of 1893."

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

'Eve ate the apple, and she's asking if you want to make it two out of three with oranges and bananas?'

'We're cutting you some slack because you just died but normally we frown on devil's food.'

Touring Holidays - On the P***

Self Service Island

'Hi, my name is Eve. Where is the mall?'

'...Well if this is heaven, why aren't you using a Mac?'

'I didn't know I'd need a PIN number!'

"The only problem with Heaven is there's nowhere to hang stuff."

Not so heavenly

'I'm new up here...where are the men?'

'Missin' rib, snake, guilt, eviction. . . and not a Stress Counsellor in sight!'

Clouds getting into angel's shoes.

'Life is becoming more and more expensive.'

'We are experiencing technical difficulties, please stand by...'

"Wow! I guess you CAN 'take it with you', after all!"

"Do I have a personal preparedness plan in case of a national emergency? Well, if screaming while running amok is a plan, then yes, I have a plan."

'I thought everybody would be equal here'

If only they'd taken it with them!

"Boxing day is so boring."

"Holy c**p!!! That asteroid is headed straight for earth!!!"

'Ferguson always was an overachiever.'

'My family thinks I'm up here watching over them.'

Employees Only Door in Heaven.

"Not only are we new here, I understand the whole place didn't exist a few days ago."

'It's not always the Catholics who seem the most disappointed.'