Disaster Preparedness Planner Pillows

10/03/17 14:03

Natural Disasters

IRMA Hurricane Recovery in Cuba

Department of No One Could Have Anticipated

"I can see our house from here."

"Siri, find an ICU near me."

'Now listen: Based on the position of the kennel and the length of the leash, only the shaded part of the garden is dangerous...'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

What's your contingency plan, Randy? My what? If a calamity of biblical proportions were to strike here in Canardville, would you flee across the bridge to Candorville? Or would you search in vain for a fallout-resistant bunker, before surrendering to the cruel inevitability of your demise? I ask just for the sake of discussion. No reason to panic. Totally unrelated: I just found out someone who's definitely not me is selling fallout bunkers at buy-this-now-if-you-want-to-live.com. Very bad man.

Educators push back against politically motivated school opening proposals."

Catastrophe Risk Insurance

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

'Relax. This is only a test.'

Tsunami Evac Route

Disasters

"What, no day spa? And you call this a luxury bunker."

'Who should be contacted in case of an accident? Why, 911, of course. And these people are going to be teaching my children.'

'Our policy is quite plain. We don't pay out on claims we can't pronounce.'

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it!"

The other day during the zombie apocalypse

'Have you filed an environmental impact statement for this flood?'

Japan Disaster: Japanese fighting Nuclear Grim Reaper.

'The tropical tax haven where he offshored his business was just hit by a tsunami.'

Climate Change Contingency House

Customer tangled up in velvet rope is trying to ring bell for help.

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

"Instant coffee? Little plug-in water heater?? This new guy must be a real survivalist!"

'My backup special...'

"On the other hand, voting to fund disaster relief would violate my conservative principles."

Good News/Bad News: Crisis Control Center

'I'm taking no chances.'

'Of course the scientists have got this all wrong about climate change.'

Extraterrestrial kicks rocks on his planet, which turn into meteors crashing to earth.

Goldfish Insurance: " We must insure against a deluge of BIBLICAL proportions. . ."

"The asteroid will hit in 2032, but I’m prepared!"