Disaccharide Aficionado T-Shirts

I'm not lactose intolerant. In fact, some of my best friends are disaccharide sugars.

Joey discovers the difference between coffee beans and jelly beans.

"Can we do that again tomorrow night?"

"Oh, boy, hard-core sugar!"

"Too much sugar."

"5 chocolate brownies, 3 banana muffins, 4 caramel cookies and one cappuccino - skinny."

'It's perfectly normal for middle-aged men to put on a little weight.'

Flying sauces.

'Of course it's safe. It has no preservatives, no additives, no artificial coloring...'

"Forget about flowers, trust me, bring her honey: It's a sure way to one's heart..."

'I put the cake in the blender because I wanted a glass of cake.'

Sweet surprise.

"Let's just say the chocolate chip cookie diet isn't working."

Chocs away.

'Kudos to Bill for the cotton candy machine idea!'

"I'm retaining doughnuts."

'Just three pieces of cake for 200 hundred guests?'

"When I gave up cookies for the period of fasting called Lent, I thought it would be an hour, like the period of school called math."

"D'you remember caramel before it all became 'salted?'"

"I'll split my candy with you if you take me Trick or Treating."

'I made it chocolate so it wouldn't show the dirt.'

Diet Books: Fiction/Non-Fiction

Val and Les could see a fork in the road but they weren't expecting a dip.

Maple tree donating syrup at a syrup drive clinic.

'Would you folks care for some fresh maple syrup on your pancakes?'

Source of Information

I Bake. Deal with it.

The Pope getting a Popsicle for Popes from the Freezer

'I'll accept two potions of white crystalline sucrose in final settlement.'

Armstrong, an unmarked truck just delivered a pallet of mystery meat. Turkey. It doesn't look like turkey. It looks more like some sort of dehydrated pigeon. What's it matter? If we slap it in a sandwich, smother it in "gravy," and label it "turkey," customers won't know the difference. Wait, did you just think quotes around the word gravy? "no."

'I counted them as well. . .There were four too many.'

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

Snowman wife to husband eating ice cream: 'Remember what the diabetes counselor said, Hal - you are what you eat.'

"According to this analysis, Gibbons, last year your department spent forty-five thousand dollars on candy alone."

Dijon Vu