Director Of Homeland Security Gifts

'That's my dad...Director of Homeland Security.'

'That's my dad...Director of Homeland Security.'

'Yes, can I help you?'

Attack of the Underwear Bomber

The Costs Of Doing War.

"What makes you think this could be a suspect package?"

"You can stop humming 'Private Eyes' by Hall & Oates now!"

Criminal Germs

"There's a rumour that someone may be resigning today."

'Very impressive, but is there anything you can't do?'

'Call Homeland Security and find out if Bin Laden is behind it.'

Personnel. Are you familiar with "flex time"? Just the usual kind -- slow workdays and fast weekends.

"I like that you all brought enthusiasm, but did anyone bring food?"

'You'll need to do much more than just pass the time away here, because we're known to work live-long days.'

"Can you hold on a sec? I need to check on Timmy."

"And yet that's exactly what I'd like to be doing."

'That's the Director of Housing. She isn't taking the news of the rates freeze too well...'

'Just when I thought I had weeded out all of the deadwoodl, Weber...I spotted you!'

Fighting Covid

The new cold war.

Leanin' In

'Those dumb Canadians won't bother us anymore sir.'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles - we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts!'

"I consider myself a responsible worker."

The department of people who will always tell you exactly what you want to hear.

Travel: 'We wanna send Dad back to the old country - just for a visit, of course!'

"As you may have discovered, we only choose this spot for our corporate retreat when faced with the difficult task of downsizing."

'We just wanted to let you know that the US military is protecting your home.'

The Imminent terrorist threat to Europe!

Sebastian Gorka

Dr. Jeckyl and Mr. Fool

'You're in charge of Homeland Security...do something.'

'I'm sorry, we already have a director of security...'

CIA, 'Confound it, Ruggles - we're SUPPOSED to be worrywarts!'

R. Wickert: Born at Home, Died at Home, Home Schooled. . .