Directions Gifts

"...We can't just drive off when he's half way through."

'I used to give directions by naming all the pubs along the route - I'm as lost as you are now!'

"Straight down the high street, follow your nose. On second thoughts... follow my arm!"

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

Mall Directory: You aren't here x - where the heck are you?

"Boy, that's what I call a maze."

No, this is the red lagoon, the black one is down the road a bit.

Challenge and solution

'It doesn't show it on this map....'

Wherever You Go, There You Are - Next Exit.

'Face it, you'd be lost without me!'

After purchasing a smartphone with advanced GPS, Mitch pinpoints his current location and realizes that within the past 25 years he had never really moved one inch in either direction.

Brownie Points

Support Group for the Directionally Challenged.

'Backseat driver...'

"My Marcia has always been so talented in so many areas. I only hope she finds a direction for herself and gets married."

"Yoga World is two blocks past Yoga Palace. If you see Yoga Mecca, you've gone too far."

Be a leader

"Excuse me, is this the third turning on the left?"

'Sorry, I'm a stranger here myself.'

'Typical man! We've been down here for hours, and you still won't ask for directions. Maybe you should just move over and let me dig this hole!'

A rowing cox takes a taxi cab.

'Tell back seat driver to shut up.'

'I think we took a wrong turn.'

"Thank goodness for SATNAV, I don't think I'd have found you otherwise."

"The vasectomy clinic? Go past the barbers, left at the scissor factory, cut through the bollards and it's opposite the sewing machine shop."

"And, when you get hungry, the cafeteria is to your right, left, left, right, left, straight, right, straight, left, and then you push on the big lever."

Orienteering

Here, there, everywhere

'Just stay on this track in a counter-clock-wise direction for, oh, I'd say another two or three laps. Can't miss it.'

You Are Here

Lady to man: 'I can't find the Geography Workshop.'

"Head down this road 'bout three miles, turn right onto Route 12A, take that until you see a barn with a 'Trump' sign on it. At the foreclosure sign, make a left..."

Change lanes now?

"This meeting of The Male Stereotype's Club is cancelled. Everyone is lost and won't ask for directions."