Direct-response Aficionado T-Shirts

Call now! Performers in dramatizations in informercials often rush through their lines. They're following the exhortation to "act quickly."

"You be the moral grandstander and I'll be the politically incorrect troll."

'I thought that 'remote gizmo' was just for manoeuvring the caravan down the drive!'

Binary Man

It's only a remote, dear...if you want better programs you will need a wand.

Lazy Rower.

Employment Agency. I didn't hire him -- Those bipedal guys are are afraid to get their hands dirty.

"Here's the weak point."

'Have you figured out our New Year's resolution?'

"And what if I don't want to be Jack or Ennis?"

"I would never do a nude scene, unless the part really called for it."

"Today U.S. Defense Industry stocks rose on news Dick Cheney endorsed Donald Trump."

Diner. Breakfast Specials. I'm a type "C" personality. Until I have my morning coffee I have no personality at all.

"These LARPERS are a bit more subtle and reality-based."

Why dogs hate CPR.

Quentin Tarantino

'Now, lift and squeeze the diaphragm.' ... 'Sweet.'

"Quick! Turn the siren on!"

"Wanna play doctor?"

Defensive EU

"Looks like we've taken care of the enemy and pretty much everything else."

'He's not finished his media training!'

'Does this book come with director commentary.'

"Which side of the plates do the cellphones go?"

Self-driving fire engine...quickly responds to an alarm.

Police officer giving ticket to paramedics.

"He wasn't specific. His last message just said, play it safe - whatever that means."

'See, it has remote control.'

"Your sailing skills are improving but you need more work on the 'drop anchor' part."

Electronics. He's fascinated by the fast forward feature.

"Occasionally, the membrane between parallel universes ruptures."

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'I know, let's try role reversal. I'll drone on and on about my miserable life and we'll see how you like it.'

'Well my anchor is bigger than your anchor!'

'She found him through an ad in one of those kinky papers.'