Alertness Aficionado T-Shirts

'Where was the TSA?'

"Of course, if they ever start to suspect all their TVs are watching them back, we may have problems."

'It's okay, it's our audible fish alarm.'

'You can all relax and resume your game. The unattended bag discovered on the infield turned out to be the second base.'

Alarmistclock

"Sorry kid, I work alone."

A gorilla plays chess with his keeper.

CCTV in church.

"Let me through – I'm morbidly curious!"

The Ayatollah Bomb?

"It's time to wake up!"

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

'This biometric ID badge is part of the new security system. The badge contains my encoded retinal scan, fingerprints, and level of job enthusiasm.'

"If you're my gramma you wouldn't have a problem consenting to a retina scan!"

"Fifth robbery this week. That's not a security camera ??" a local TV news station installed it to save time."

'Don't worry -- the security camera is for your own protection.'

Judges alarm clock: 'beep beep, all rise!'

'Your father installed a security system.'

The prime minister: the current threat to national security...

'Someone is reading our emails. I'm afraid this means we're going to have to talk to each other.'

'Principal McWit, a student without an appointment is here and says he's holding your computer access codes for ransom.'

'They take patient privacy so seriously around here they encrypt your name!'

'This fridge is fitted with CCTV.'

All items on the premises have been marked for identification: 'My cat sprayed everything in the house.'

"I just installed a home security monitor."

'Halt! User name and password.'

'I've got to wake up extra early tomorrow morning. Any clue how to set this thing?'