Direct Deposit Enthusiast Gifts

Bureau of Missing Persons, "He works flextime and we have direct deposit, so it took me a few months to notice he was gone."

"What's a debenture?"

"Remember when it was 'The Dog and Duck'?"

'Seven layers in one dip? Gentlemen, what have we wrought?'

"We rolled your account over, sir, and that just made it worse."

"I can definitely give you my two cents, Sir – just let me know how you want it: Bitcoin, Paypal, or Venmo."

Bank Loans - Thank you, I shall always be in your debt.

Payback Time

Paul Wolfowitz.

I have a dream.

'Waiter, there's a bank in the soup.'

Serious bummer! The bank says I'm overdrawn.

'As long as the gov't has a printing press, all deposits federally insured.'

"The bank examiners are here, oh!...I see you already know."

'When I grow up I want to be a bank.'

'No sir, I said could I have an increase in SALARY.'

'You've been approved for your loan, Mr. Root. We'd like to hold your nuts as collateral.'

Friendly banks and Cold and aloof banks.

Bank Checking and Savings. How about some clouds on your scenic checks since they never seem to clear anyway?

Loans. To make a long story short, my cash flow needs some new tributaries.

'This is your third withdrawal this week... how about a little deposit once in a while?'

"Fifty is plenty.". . . "Hundred and fifty."

'There's been a big bank merger, sir, so you now have a joint checking account with a Mr. Slavomir Bezparyadok of Zagreb.'

Piggy Banks/Cash Cows/Free Chicken Account.

'You need to alter your portfolio allocation. Right now it's 25% stocks, 15% bonds and 60% margin loans.'

"Happiness is more important than money,but it is easier to count money."

"Avoid financial ventures—your credit line is very short."

"The Queen beat you to it!!"

FIRST NATIONAL, TELLER, 'Thirty-seven dollars? -- you call THAT overdrawn?'

"And they tell us money is hard to come by."

'And make sure you use the AUTOMATED teller, you old goat!'

"You want to go outside again? I wish dogs had direct deposit."

Bank Checking Accounts. Yes, deposits are guaranteed, sir --- but withdrawals aren't.

'The trouble started when the world put together a large group of synchronized banks.'

'Why have you taken 50% of my investment?'