Diplomatic Meeting Gifts

"Your first summit?"

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

Well, everything's going great! I guess it's time to bring in the naysayers.

"I'm torn, Randy. I don't know what to think." "About what, little buddy?" "Star Trek. The last movie got rave reviews. Critics and audiences loved it. Therefore, I loved it too. But it didn't come anywhere close to earning $1 billion at the box office. And these days, any movie that doesn't earn $1 billion is a complete failure. Therefore, I must hate it. I'm in limbo until the hive mind comes to a consensus." "Except for honey, nothing good ever comes from hives."

"I don't think Dawson understands the concept behind the 'Talking Stick.'"

"Huddleston, I admire your hands-on approach to everything, but get the hell out of my office!"

Nuclear Security Summit

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

"In the spirit of compromise, Canada is willing to offer any state of the United States, sanctuary if they wish to secede."

"The legal people are terrified of litigation but I insisted that we write an apology to the client of the lack of service. . . as long as we don't sent it!"

'Well people who said the SRA wasn't up to the job are going to have to eat their words now.'

Vladimir Putin as Uncle Sam

Pandas talk about the P.M.'s visit to China.

1880 Presidential Election - Columbia Consoles General Hancock after Election Defeat

Attila demands Italy and Switzerland. Keep Switzerland but give him the boot.

Adios "Mexico"!

Uncle Sam argues about pollution with China.

"It looks suspicious to me. Next thing we know, he'll claim the U.S. is part of Russia."

'Apparently the first leg was a bit contentious.'

"So what if your brother called you a 'lesbo? There is nothing wrong with being a lesbian... ...No, I'm not saying you are a lesbian... ...Don't threaten to beat me up!... See? This is why people think you are a lesbian!"

It may not be correct to call it another, 'Cold War'...but a new 'Cold Front' has moved in.

"Our marriage is like the Middle East conflict combined with North and South Korea."

Blair's Apology

'You need to say more about the war than just 'oops'.'

Helms Burton Titulo III

Table Discussion

A New Development in the war between the Sexes: Guilt Seeking Missile

Will you stop 'tutting' until I've finished my treasurer's report.

The Nuclear Agreement

'...and she's always trying to make me look small.'

The Demand

"They share the same opinion."

'no, I'm sorry to say, giving up your bonus has not increased my respect for you.'