Diplomacy Debaters Gifts

"In the spirit of compromise, Canada is willing to offer any state of the United States, sanctuary if they wish to secede."

Inside the Dictator's Suite

I enjoy our conversation, but I think it's pretentious to call them "summit talks."

Vladimir Putin punched by Vitali Klitschko

"It looks suspicious to me. Next thing we know, he'll claim the U.S. is part of Russia."

Hollywood Sign Developers

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

You Are Here - Uncle Sam's Exit Strategy

Changing Minds

'It's a senior management position. We need someone who can listen politely, and then say no.'

"That's six 'noes' and one 'aye', the ayes have it"

"I don't think Dawson understands the concept behind the 'Talking Stick.'"

"Our intelligence shows that everybody loves us."

"You might want to save that for your blog."

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Super delegates. A candidate could win the most votes in the primaries but lose anyway of the superdelegates want someone else! Can you believe that? Oh stop yer sniveling. In my day, the parties chose candidates in smoke-filled backrooms without even pretending the people get a vote. At least this charade gets you out of the house. Gets the blood pumping. I guess.

"I'm going out on a limb here, and sincerely apologize to my constituents today for the misappropriations and bribes I will take if I'm elected governor."

Sen. Krupt. Your vote should never be for sale. It's much more efficient to rent it out!

Citizens' Jury - 'The jury thinks you should get rid of Citizens' Juries.'

1880 Presidential Election - Columbia Consoles General Hancock after Election Defeat

Adios "Mexico"!

Today's Banking Industry: "We're too big to regulate!"

Bush vs. America

Tickets being sold for the Fun House and the Religious Fundamentalist House,

Attila demands Italy and Switzerland. Keep Switzerland but give him the boot.

Democracy - one of the drawbacks.

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

"But I don't want my constituents to vote for the most qualified candidate! I want them to vote for me!"

'Come on fellas! I was just kidding about the 'pay their fair share' stuff!'

"While we do appreciate your diligence... It's not the store's policy to shoot shoplifters!"

It may not be correct to call it another, 'Cold War'...but a new 'Cold Front' has moved in.

"Are you sure this is in your job description?"

"An election is like a car repair where the car owner has to pay a lot of money to have old broken parts replaced with new broken parts."

No Tread on Me

Blair's Apology

"It's totally unfair! I can't vape but you can cook with gas?!"